It’s time to stop blaming young adults.

It’s time to stop blaming young adults for “leaving” the church.

It’s time to stop blaming young adults for the declining membership of churches.

It’s time to stop blaming young adults for being too disinterested, too busy with other things, too caught up in social media.

The church (generally) has no idea what to do with young adults . Instead of looking to the young adults who already attend their churches or are involved in their community, I hear church members complaining about how the church would be saved if only those young adults would get out of bed on Sunday morning.

I’m done with it.

There are thousands of us. THOUSANDS of young adults who are involved or want to be involved in established churches. There are THOUSANDS more young adults that are thirsting for real community and connection that have been burned and pushed away by the church who are finding different ways to do community. I’m seriously starting to doubt that the church actually wants us.

Church, do you really want young adults? Or do you want us to sit down and become a membership statistic?

Do you really want young adults? Or do you want us to pay the upkeep of your unnecessarily large buildings?

Do you really want young adults? Or do you want someone to do something that way “it’s always been done?”

Do you really want young adults? Or do you want someone who looks and thinks exactly like you did when you were young?

Young adults are not the reason the church is declining.

Young adults are not the reason the church no longer looks like it did in the 1950′s.

Young adults want to be heard, understood, and validated for who they are.

Young adults want to share their interests, passions, gifts, and talents with people who care about them.

Young adults don’t want to get involved in things where their presence doesn’t matter.

If you actually want young adults, it’s time to sit down and listen to what young adults actually want. Start with the young adults who are already there. Ask them about their dreams, their fears, their dislikes, their doubts, their joys, the things they hate about church and organized religion. Start a real conversation, and you’ll find out what young adults want. (Here’s a hint: it’s not contemporary music.)

We want to matter.